My blood pressure has been catching up to me lately. With so much stress and work I hardly find any time to see anyone. 5 hours of classes a day.

I'm taking a capoeira class three times a week, which feels almost like yoga for bboys, and it's pretty much all the exercise I get in a week. It's capoeira angola, not regional, the style that most people have seen.

The other day I was teaching bboying and I was so short of breath that I eventually had to describe rather than demonstrate what I was teaching. My head just pounds and my vision goes black. All I can do is hold on to the nearest wall and brace until it's over. I am the president of the club, and who knows where my children would go if they had no one to teach them.

I'm not eating terribly unhealthy foods, and I exercise at least three times a week through capoeira, but I guess I should do more about this and start running again.

But sometimes the nauseousness comes abruptly and I'm filled with feelings of loneliness. I felt abandoned today. I mentioned it to some people but I didn't want to trouble anyone too much or give off misinterpreted signals. Later I discover that there was a possibility that I had a panic attack.

I guess I shouldn't be looking for someone to hold on to during these times, but to look to God instead. God is great and is helping me through every step. He is sufficient for me and strongest when I am at my weakest.

With everything I've gone through these two semesters, I can't help but feel blessed. Everything will be okay.

There have been too many times this semester that I've felt like the odd one out just because of my status as an RA.

"Hey sorry I'm late."

"Oh, where were you?"

"Just with some friends."

"...Okay."

"--we were drinking, but I didn't want to tell you because you're an RA. But I'm 21."